Pop Culture Breakdown: Bieber Fever Edition

I know the beginning of the week can be a drag, so I wanted to start it off right. Now, this might be a bit of an abstruse (word of the day) topic, but try and stay with me. I could lie and say I woke up this morning and crammed in some Dostoyevsky before work, but I won’t do that. I stumbled upon this sure-to-be-hit and felt like it was something worth sharing.

Justin Bieber’s new single- “Boyfriend”

Listen here. 

Below you will find my breakdown of the lyrics. Hold on tight, y’all. This song is deep.

If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go

I can take you places you ain’t never been before

Baby take a chance or you’ll never ever know

I got money in my hands that I’d really like to blow

Swag swag swag, on you

–      First off- I love it when an 18 year-old has $127 bajillion dollars that he wants to blow on his new lady.  Where was this guy when I was 18? Ladies, if a guy says this to you- ask him to pay for college. Swag is overrated.

Chillin by the fire why we eatin’ fondue

I dunno about me but I know about you

So say hello to falsetto in three two…

–      Who doesn’t love a good melted cheese/chocolate party?! Sounds like a fun date to me.

–      Fondue + You= genius rhymes. On top of that, he gives us a countdown to prepare us for those high notes.

That Justin, always being so thoughtful.

I’d like to be everything you want

Hey girl, let me talk to you

If I was your boyfriend, never let you go

Keep you on my arm girl, you’d never be alone

I can be a gentleman, anything you want

If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go, I’d never let you go.

–      This part scared me because it is EXACTLY what my husband said to me on our first date. Was Justin there? Was our conversation tapped? Am I living in some weird version of the Truman Show? This song really makes me question everything.

Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don’t

I could be your Buzz Lightyear fly across the globe

I don’t never wanna fight yeah, you already know

I am ‘ma a make you shine bright like you’re laying in the snow


–      Where to start? Turning Buzz Lightyear into some weird sex symbol makes me really uncomfortable.

–      Try and say the second to last line out loud- “I am ‘ma a make you…” Yeah, I can’t make it sound cool either.

–      Ending with an onomatopoeia. Solid.

Girlfriend, girlfriend, you could be my girlfriend

You could be my girlfriend until the —- world ends

Make you dance do a spin and a twirl and

Voice goin crazy on this hook like a whirl wind


–      Plus side- At least he’s not afraid of commitment.

–      Down side- I don’t know what “swaggie” is.

Repeat of the Chorus and then wrapping it all up with:

 Na na na, na na na, na na na

Ya girl

Na na na, na na na, na na na ey

Na na na, na na na, na na na ey

Na na na, na na na, na na na ey

If I was your boyfriend.

–      This was the most relatable part of the song for me. I really feel like he was speaking straight to my heart. Can’t explain it.

Na. Ey.

There you have it! Justin Bieber’s newest masterpiece. You’re welcome.

**I am aware this post has no real value- but that’s what pop culture is all about right?! Happy Monday!


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